A Drifting Heart

8:09 PM
Sitting at the barber shop waiting for my turn. Couldn't stop my tears from falling while driving the few kilometres distance between home and here. Egypt is on fire, rambles, riots, lies and murders. Falling all of this, I only think of you.

I only think of what he told me this morning. It explained his strange behaviour for the past week.

When I agreed venturing into this commitment, I knew crystal clear that he might not be staying in Egypt; but honestly, I didn't think it would be that soon. We merely passed two or three months together. I didn't get enough of people saying that we look cute and adorable together. Didn't get enough of the way he cuddles me on the sofa, making out in the middle of the living room or the way he looks into me.

I don't get enough of his magic. His beauty. His style. His friends. His outings. His words. His touch.

I didn't get enough of the rush I have when he is around me. Did not get enough of the urge that I should always look fresh to match him. How I pay attention to the little details that drive him crazy but smiles and helplessly says: you're such an OCDian!

He is leaving me. He has to move, just as how seasons change. Although I never believed in long distance relationships but yeah, this whore right here is willing to. Although I know that time and distance drift people and hearts apart. As if I need more drama to express my sadness!

He is leaving me. And leaving a lot of memories here and there. His toothbrush that I got him in my house. His bag that he left in the drawer. The accident that I had and scared my skin, he took care of me and held me tight, warming me when I was trembling like a child.

He is leaving me. People ask me about him. People wonder where he is when he travels for even a week.

I introduced him to my closest person, after coming out. I ruined my Europe trip just because I missed him. I imprinted my skin to be like him.

Far away he goes, soon. And I can't help but cry again. Hiding my face with my palm, I can't tear up here.

8:20 PM.
I already miss him.