March 26, 2009

:: untitled

It’s killing. I’ve been keeping this for a while now but picture what happened to me in less than 24 hours.

Yesterday, driving home from Gym, I was dying to push a simple blog with Nadia Ali’s ‘The One’ lyrics. I typed those very same letters 24 hours earlier to him, the one. He suddenly broke into my life, collapsing all my doubts about love, intimacy, long distance relationships. He just rocked me from head to toes. I can’t find a better description to his looks than one of those underwear models you crave for, and for his personality as a world leader, and for his attitude with me as a lover boy. I reconsidered everything in my life, believed in what I thought cannot happen. Collapsed all the forbidden rules and started breathing again.

I wanted to create a simple blog yesterday, calling it ‘The One’ and embed in it:


That was 24 hours ago; before he comes online a few moments and slap me with the truth. Looks like I am too blinded by my anger and hatred to my previous relationship that I started implementing words, attitude and behaviour to people around me, making them devastated and, well, I turn out wearing a mask on top of the protective mask that ended up fooling my own god damn fucking self.

Can’t sleep. Can’t think. Can’t function.

He made me smile. He made me laugh and blush in shame. He made me crave and fall. He made me want to be a better person for him. He made me believe in myself again.


I am in love with him. I love him.

Now that he is gone, forever. It took me two years to realize that, but it was 24 hours too late. Twenty fucking four hours too damn late.

It fucking hurts inside of me. I think, since a long time, I am crying. Passionate one.