September 08, 2008


I am craving for a cheesy italian dinner with someone - silly stupid dumb thought. I shake it off my mind, then as soon as I open facebook; and those little tiny torturing news lines are displayed announcing that Carl has a new friend I feel the cold grip squeezing my heart.
I quickly open the friend's page, and of course as most fags tend to do on facebook, leaving it open to public, I tend to flip through this new friend's pictures: yes, the kind Carl likes.
They must have fucked - or maybe Carl is taunting him now to get him into bed, in Agami, over Nadia Ali's sensual lusty beats.

I sigh. I look at my blog and I remember that I haven't progressed in Mika's story: how can I keep it on while he keeps shocking me every single time we are in touch and letting him haunt my MSN list forever now?

I have many ghosts screwing my brains; apparently I am taking this out on fashion. If Carrie had a shoe fetish and obsession, I turn out then to be the guy who will litterarely die in his ties and suits. Even though I never felt comfortable wearing them in the office but I had to change my style into that perfumed, signee-styled freak. Am I looking for all the admiration looks now from my collegues? Do I feel pleased when those girls approach me and tell me how great I look, wondering what will I wear the following day?

Do I need more attention? Or am I seeking for someone's, anyone's attention in particular?