:: Tantric : The Crush - [Part I]

" Do you believe in love at first sight?
It's an illusion, I don't care.
Do you believe I can make you feel better?
Too much confusion, come on over here!

Can we get together?
I really, I really wanna be with you.
Come on, check it out with me.
I hope you, I hope you feel the same way too. "

- Get Together, Madonna.

It was an early day by the end of March when we first chatted. Mica was a 25 years old successful young man who had a fine position in Oracle Company in the states. After a couple of chats, I could draw an idea about the reason why he left Egypt and decided working abroad.

Despite the fact that I never let myself pay attention to people who weren’t available within my living or traveling territories, the way Mica captured my attention online made me believe that I could catch up with him, for his yearly visits to Egypt, even though they were a mere couple of weeks only.

“I never display my picture on MSN”, he said, “I’ll email it to you.”

I kind of laughed: most people don’t like sending the picture itself while he felt that this way was more secured. I quickly jumped to the conclusion that he could be having a thousand contact on his MSN list and wouldn’t spend the time blocking those whom he wouldn’t like seeing his picture displayed.

When I got ‘You have received a new mail from Mica’ pop-up, I eagerly clicked and waited the large picture to load. I was greeted by a photo that included two guys and girl. I quickly typed:

“I am certain that you’re not the chick to the right, which guy are you then?” I said while hoping he could be the excessively hot guy in the middle.

“Which one is hotter?”, he said. I couldn’t reply with my opinion; but declared that both were quiet attractive, and I lied.

“The one to the left!”, he said. I re-opened the picture and tried to find anything attractive in that guy, in vain. He looked boring and apparently he had the hots for the one in the middle just like I did. If it was a video, I could have seen him drooling.

“You look fine!”, I lied –again!

Mica started talking about how life is wonderful in the states, but cruel. He was lonely, and couldn’t make friends even though he had been there for almost a year. My answers were short, but straight to the point: I didn’t want the fact that I wasn’t attracted to him made me change my friendly way. I discussed the possibility of moving back to Egypt while explaining my point of view regarding my passion working in here. Mica was looking for both the position and the large paycheck he was having and they were solely offered in his actual position.

On daily basis, he used to start the chat in his unique way: “Digg! You there?” till the day I bombarded him:

“Mica! People usually start their talks with Hey! Yo! Hi! Or even Good Fucking Morning! Stop your strange way of making me feel as if you’re investigating my presence!”

He laughed and since then he always made sure that he would start his chats with a decent Good Morning –without the fucking part. I sensed that he was one of those people who act spontaneously, not really caring whether that attitude would annoy others or not. What impressed me though is his ability to accept criticism in a friendly way.

Weeks, months passed and my chats were diminishing with him. I must admit that the main reason was behind his physical look. I haven't given him the chance to express himself since every time he used to chat with me, I would turn him down; either by not answering or giving short boring replies. That's when one day he said:

"Digg. I am coming to Cairo next week".

"Oh really?", I answered in my boring way, "that's cool".

He then added, since I haven't answered in the right way:

"I'd like to meet you".

A Yeah, whatever sounded in my head. When he asked for my cell phone number, I just closed my MSN - disconnected!

I made sure I'd block him so when he would be in Egypt and login, I won't be put in that awkward situation. Even though I wasn't quite sure why I keep on chatting with him, I didn't want to block him for good either. During his stay in Cairo, I saw him coming online a couple of times, but thanks to the block I was safe. I was always doing my best to evade him generally by blocking, not answering or simply ignoring what he sends.

I was repulsed by Mica's general attitude: his online cheesiness and nagging all the time; asking about both too private and awkward issues, like that day when he bombed it at me:

"Are you a boxers or a briefs guy?"

I was bewildered by his unexpected question. Why would he get into my private parts while I don't even fucking answer him!

"Your first time, with who and how?" - the question I hate. My first time is non of anybody's business. With who? A GUY!

"My first time, he said, was with my cousin". He started describing what happened when I stopped him:

"Mica. I don't give a damn about your first time. Plus having it with your cousin is very repulsive to me. For crying out loud he's family! How could you do that?"

"Well he did that to me!"

I blocked him, again.

The amount of chats I had with Mica weren't that much at all. I felt very strange when chatting with him: I couldn't shake the way he looked in the picture, his way of talking and his cheesy life. That's when one day, after feeling too guilty and unfair in the way I was treating him, I decided to give him a real chance. After all, why did he keep on believing in me while I was acting total bitch, for almost two years of chatting. Why not knowing him more? Telling him how I felt and see how he'd react.

"So how are you, Mica?", I initiated the chat.

"Good. At work. Wanna tell me what colour your underwear is?", I should block him, but no. A chance, I promised myself.

"I told you several times I don't like this way!".

Few moments passed then:

"Sorry."

I kept reading it. He had a way hitting me always with an unexpected answer, calming me down. He then said:

"Digg can I call you?"

I hesitated, but then I was curious and wanted to know how he sounded.

"Sure! Here's my phone", and I typed it.

Few minutes later, an 'unknown' number was calling. I answered and I paid good attention to his tone. This is one of the major steps in analyzing people's thoughts and mind. He just listened to me at first. Apparently he was judging me as well. He then said:

"I am still at work. Supposed to finish a report today because I am coming in a week to Egypt". I froze! He got me. I then said:

"Really? Well that's like two days after my birthday".

He quickly answered:

"Is it your birthday seriously? Look, I am supposed to go to Sharm to stay 5 days, I will come to Cairo on your birthday. Maybe meet up?"

I hesitated. Usually on my birthday I have a couple of surprise parties then go club till I drop. I was totally sure that I wouldn't meet him on my birthday.

"Okay". I lied.

"Cool! I'll call you when I get to Sharm."

We hung up. I was already planing my escape scenarios.

A week had passed and he hadn't called me. I had forgotten about him already and it was my birthday. For some strange reason my three planned birthday parties were screwed. I finally found myself at 5 PM without any plans for the night. Not only my good friends were already out of town, but those who were available couldn't make it for the night since it was middle of the week. I then logged in MSN when I found Mica sending me a message:

"Digg! Sorry I lost your phone number! My phone is fucked. Motherboard or something. Could you give me your number again?"

I just typed it and closed my MSN. My phone rang a local cellular number.

"Digg? Are we still up for tonight? I am in Cairo". I quickly thought that my day couldn't get any worse.

"Yeah sure!".

"Where to meet?", he asked.

Since it was my birthday and was on the very edge of depression, I just named my favourite place to have drinks: Grand Hyatt's bar, on top of the Nile. I picked it not only because it was my beloved relaxing place, but because it was expensive too - what could make a non wanted date freak out but to show him how crazy spender I am.

"Okay. See you there at 11 PM?", he confirmed.

Apparently, I am totally destined to meet him.

At 10:30, perfuming my white dsquared2 shirt and dark blue D&G Jeans with CK's Crave, I jumped in my car, selected Armin Van Buuren's State of Trance set of the week, took a shot off my flask and geared up direction Grand Hyatt.

Before I got into the hotel's underground parking, Mica called asking if I was there. I confirmed my arrival. He asked me to meet in the lobby; he'll be there 10 minutes later. I got off my car and while passing through the security gate, my cell phone fell. I took it as bad omen since it was badly scratched. I just took it back and went to the elevators, cursing the date, Mica and the whole night. I decided greeting his cheesy ass, have a cosmopolitan then leave. After all, I'll love some attention on my fucked up birthday day.

When I was in the lobby, I kept looking around, no sign of him. 15 minutes had already passed and I was getting really annoyed. I called him.

"Hey Digg! Really sorry. I am already in there."

"You'd better because I am leave already", I said really pissed at everything around me.

"Where are you?", he said.

"I am in the freaking lobby Mica! You asked me to wait infront of the reception!"

"I am coming. I am in a white T-Shirt".

I turned around looking for someone in a white T-Shirt, cheesy looking, drooling as I remember seeing in the picture holding a cell phone.

"I can't see you.. Where ar...

I froze.

What I was seeing made my whole body shiver from head to toes. I felt a frozen cold thunder running in my spine. As seen in movies and as I always thought it was ridiculous, I was lowering down my hand holding the cell phone. After two full years of bitching, nagging, being mean and low; Mica wasn't the guy to the left in the picture. He was the fucking damn hot guy in the middle.

Seeing Mica coming towards me, smiling with his soft hair, large slightly hairy chest under his transparent white T-Shirt with a magnificent Sharm al Sheikh tan, I couldn't move, talk, smile, greet. I stood still.

He captured my heart, at first sight.

>> Proceed to Part II